Navigating the Holidays: A Mental Health Professional’s Tips
The Holidays…love them or hate them…they are here! And it can be especially overwhelming for those with chronic physical and mental health conditions. So here are some tips on how to get through the holiday season. In all my years of working with individuals there is a central theme to their most difficult struggles, and they can be grouped into three categories: stress, family issues, and grief. The holiday stress on top of day to day stress can make this time of year almost unbearable for some. The shopping, the cooking, the presents and decorations, and family. Every year it seems like the holidays come sooner than the year before. Setting boundaries Acknowledge what you are feeling. You can’t tame it if you don’t name it. Remember to be gentle with yourself. It’s okay for you to feel sad or anxious AND still find some joy in this holiday season. Reach out for support. Often when we feel like everyone is too busy to be bothered we don’t reach out. But the holidays are meant for community and gathering; love and appreciation. Be realistic. While we may all be dreaming of unforgettable moments with family, not everything is in our control. We can’t control the weather, or who will be coming for the holidays. Set a budget. Sticking with a budget will also help lessen the financial impact from the holiday season. There is no need to go into more debt than you already are. Doing so only creates more stress that will last long into the new year with the extra credit card payments. Plan ahead. Planning may be just preparing yourself and your mind-set for this season. If you already know that this time of year is especially hard for you, then prepare yourself with the things you need to get through it. Planning allows things to be more predictable and helps with time management. Set your differences aside. By no means am I saying that you should be around those that have harmed you in traumatizing ways. This isn’t an act of forgiveness merely a truce for a season of peace. Ask yourself: what is your purpose for going to holiday gatherings? Do I even want to see them? Is what I need more important at this time? Learning to say no can be really hard…especially if you want to do ALL THE THINGS like me! But I find if I stop and ask myself what am I willing to do? What am I not willing to do? This allows you to take ownership instead of feeling like an obligation. This also allows you to Family Issues Check your attitude. If you go to a holiday event with a bad attitude then you will have a bad experience. Ask yourself: Am I going in with guns blazing or am I going in with an attitude of peace and joy? How do you want to present yourself and what energy do you want to bring? Again, I can’t stress the importance of realistic expectations. If you remember that the only thing that you can control is your reactions. Keep potentially upsetting topics off limits. They say that nothing starts a fight quicker than politics and religion. Instead of focusing on your differences, focus on the things you have in common. And this isn’t the time or place to rehash old arguments. And limit your alcohol which causes you to respond out of emotion rather than logic. Stay active. If you’ve developed wellness practices that have supported your journey then now is the time to stick with it. Getting off track and skipping days because of the holidays can make it very challenging to get back into that routine after the holidays. And talking a quick 10 minute walk around the block may be what’s needed to help cool things off in a heated moment. Focus on gratitude. Did you know that 75% of your day is filled with some form of negativity? Focusing on gratitude can help you keep perspective. Also remembering to take what you like and leave the rest helps you practice tolerance. Managing Grief So grief is often made worse this time of year. The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. And they don’t go in order. Set realistic expectations for yourself. Don’t try to do more than you can handle. Surround yourself with people that love and care about and support you. We need connection. Celebrate in a way that feels good. Despite the temptation, try avoiding the urge to ‘cancel’ the holidays. As hard as it is to accept, life does go on after the death of a loved one. And that includes holidays. Instead, focus on maybe trying to create new memories and traditions. Allow yourself to enjoy the holiday. But also allow yourself to feel all the emotions that come up…joy, sadness, anger. Feeling ALL of your emotions is a part of the process of grieving and each are equally important. We are programmed to survive. Service work. The best way to get out of self is doing for others. Helping others who need extra support this time of year allows you to practice gratitude and generosity. Working with a mental health professional is also an option to help you navigate through these areas. If you are wanting to find a therapist you can check out Psychology Today or BetterHelp. If you are in the Oklahoma area and want to work with me directly click here for more information. You May Also Like Services More than 2 results are available in the PRO version (This notice is only visible to admin users) Recent Posts
Journaling for Mental Health: Easy Steps to Get Started
Journaling about your feelings is linked to decreased mental distress. Studies have shown that journaling as little as 15 minutes 3 times per week shows improvement in both physical and mental health in as little as a month. Journaling allows you to engage your emotional and creative side of your brain, and your logical and reasoning side of your brain. Thus allowing you to fully process your emotions and experiences. Here are some other benefits to journaling that you may not have considered. Benefits of Journaling: Improves mental health by helping to control your symptoms and improve your mood by processing your problems, fears and concerns…you have to name it to tame it! Helps track your symptoms over time so that you can start recognizing your triggers and learn ways to control them. It can often be difficult to see how far you’ve come until you can look back to where you came from. Encourages self-confidence by helping you to practice positive self-talk and identifying negative thoughts and behaviors. Journaling can be a way that you show compassion for yourself. Boosts Emotional Intelligence by helping you to make sense out of what you are feeling. By exploring your feelings honestly. Journaling can bring perspective to your feelings or the situation, and extend grace. Inspires creativity. Many of us have a hard time dreaming of a future of any kind, and journaling is an opportunity to do that in a safe and non judgmental way. Boosts memory by writing down information by hand and is a good way to memorize information. Strengthens communication and writing skills (but don’t get hung up on typos). Journaling helps you to organize your thoughts and improve communication both on paper and verbally. Journaling is also a way to find your voice. Ways to Journal: There are several different ways to journal. Below is a list of a few of my favorite types. This is not a comprehensive list by any means. These ways of journaling can be done in one journal or you can have multiple journals for different types of writing. My hope is that this will give you a place to start. Stream of consciousness is writing down whatever comes up in your thoughts and continuing to write as they pass through your mind. It doesn’t have to be organized. This can be a good way to spot patterns in your thinking and behavior when you go back and read what you wrote. Gratitude journaling is when you make a list of things that you are grateful for. The key here is to not always repeat the same things and to think of things that you might be taking for granted. For example, your warm cup of coffee, a beautiful sunrise or your car starting that morning. Positive journaling is when you make a list of all the things you have accomplished in a day. This can be helpful if you feel bad about having an unproductive day. Seeing what you’ve accomplished can help to build momentum and can help you have more positive thoughts as you reflect back on the things you did in a day. For example, you brushed your teeth, got dressed, you meditated, you meal planned for a stressful week, you got all the laundry done AND PUT IT AWAY! Negative journaling is when you write down all of your negative thoughts and feelings about people, places, events, or pretty much anything; regardless of how negative the feelings or thoughts are. Doing this allows you to express feelings and thoughts that you may not want to share with others, but allows you some relief in the moment from ruminating. Data dump — let’s face it, you can’t remember everything…until you have to go to bed. As soon as you lay down your mind starts racing about all of the things you need to do, or whatever your thoughts are that are keeping you from sleeping. So this one you will want to keep by your bed. Here are my recommendations on getting started: Find paper or journal, or notebook and a writing utensil If you can find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed is ideal, but any place will work Set a timer for 10 minutes. This can seem like forever in the beginning, but when done daily it does go by much faster than you realize. And there is nothing that says you can’t go longer if you need to. The key is to be honest and consistent and make journaling a part of your daily practice in order to receive the benefits. Begin writing. If you aren’t sure where to start you could start with what you are feeling or thinking about — even if it’s just writing about writing in a journal. The point is to just get started. The rest will come. This isn’t a requirement but it can be helpful to go back a few days later to read and reflect on what you wrote. Consider sharing your insights gained from journaling with your therapist for deep exploration and vice versa. If you don’t already have a therapist and are looking for one, How to choose a therapist that’s best for you. Grammar and spelling are not an important part of journaling. This shouldn’t keep you from the experience of journaling. Journaling is for you only. You are not being graded. Spending just a few minutes to be still, be quiet, be reflective is a beautiful way to get to know and understand yourself better. If you are wanting to find a therapist you can check out Psychology Today or BetterHelp. If you are in the Oklahoma area and want to work with me directly click here for more information. Make sure to follow me on Medium to get notified when I publish a new blog. You May Also Like Services More than 2 results are available in the PRO version (This notice is only visible to admin users) Recent Posts
FEEL THIS: Body Butter and Mental Health
I wanted to highlight Asma Whitekiller and her Feel This old fashion body butter because as with most things I recommend to my clients I have personal experience with her product. As a natural redhead, I’ve always had sensitive skin. Then as an adult I was diagnosed with psoriasis and eventually psoriatic arthritis. This has made my skin even more sensitive, and it was hard to find any kind of moisturizer that didn’t irritate my skin. Even products made for sensitive skin would irritate my skin leaving it red and burning. So when I found Asma’s butter I was hooked. Her body butter is made with all organic ingredients that leave my skin feeling cool and soft. It calms down the redness and irritation of my flare-ups. It doesn’t cause me to have breakouts. And being a woman in menopause, my skin can’t get enough moisture. It instantly melts and absorbs into my skin. It lessens the appearance of crepey skin, and fine lines. I put it on after a shower, under my makeup as a primer, throughout the day when my hands feel dry, and it’s amazing on my feet with socks at bedtime. Asma and I met through a mutual friend that was having a pool party a few years ago. She brought all of us samples of her lip balm and sunscreen. I then ordered some of her body butter and I’ve been hooked on her and her products ever since! Feel This Products Asma created this product out of her own need when her skin began changing during her pregnancy. Doctor’s told her it was hormonal and nothing prescribed or over-the-counter helped. Her grandmother gave her a home remedy recipe to try and it worked! From there she started doing more research on other natural ingredients and herbal combinations until she came up with her body butter. She started giving it away to family and friends and was encouraged to start selling it. After learning about holistic ingredients vs all the mainstream chemicals in traditional products she decided that the products she was creating had to be holistic products safe enough to use on her own newborn. This evolved into her company’s mission to build awareness for a holistic, plant based way of life using natural elements like full spectrum hemp and other plant fats. Feel This Ingredients She uses only the highest quality ingredients that include fresh butters, plant flowers, stems, tree bark, seeds, sugars, salt, organic oils, hemp, minerals, and steam distilled essential plant oil terpenes. She makes her products in small batches. They are cruelty free, kosher and have no chemicals, fillers, alcohol, preservatives, artificial colors or fragrances. She believes her products are food for the skin and should not be harmful to the environment. She believes it’s important to consider the products we put on our body and how they can be harmful for the environment. She took it a step further and only uses containers that are made out of sustainable and recyclable materials. Her Mission Her mission is to create products that are safe for all skin types and create less waste. This really shines through with the type of packaging and ingredients she uses. She wants people to be mindful that what they put on their bodies also goes back into the earth. She pours healing energy, pure intentions and love into her products. She hopes that the customers feel the energy she puts into her products. Business and Mental Health Being a coach and mental health counselor I wanted to know more about how she supports her own mental health. Asma says these last 10 years have been a rollercoaster for her. Asma finds it is important to take time to unplug, get quiet, and meditate. She uses these quiet moments to take herself out of the picture and leave the challenging moments alone for a bit. If she’s not in a good headspace, she believes her end product won’t come out right. She’s learned to remain grounded through the ups and downs of owning and running a business. She has dealt with people doubting her success and has turned it into her motivation to grow. When she has felt like giving up because of challenging situations, someone comes along and tells her how her products have helped them. This helps renew her belief in herself and her faith in her products and mission to continue to do the work she does. Here’s My Why? As many of you know, I’m on my own journey to wellness. That’s led me to learning about different ways to support my nervous system. (you can read more about my journey here ). One day I was using Asma’s body butter and it hit me…FEEL THIS. As a therapist and coach, my clients tell me how hard it is to feel their emotions. In the work we do together I try to help them find ways to stay grounded without letting their emotions become overwhelming. FEEL THIS products were the perfect metaphor. So recently I sent a small sample of Asma’s old fashioned butter and lip balm to all of my clients. I wanted them to have a visual example of how they can still FEEL their emotions while nurturing themselves at the same time. My hope is that they find time in their day or during a stressful event to use these soothing products to still feel their emotions, but not let them become overwhelming to them, and use this “aid” to help them be mindful and intentional with self-care and self-love. Make sure you check out Asma and her FEEL THIS products TODAY! And if you would like to work with me 1:1 for therapy or coaching check out the ways you can connect with me below. Working with a mental health professional is also an option to help you navigate through these areas. If you are wanting to find a therapist you can check out Psychology Today or
Tips for Choosing a Therapist That’s Best For You
Choosing a therapist is a very personal choice and sometimes it takes meeting with multiple therapists to find the right one. Below I’m going to go over some of the things to consider when you are in search of a therapist or a new therapist if you are looking to make a change. I want to introduce myself first so you know my qualifications and what makes me an expert on helping you pick a therapist. I’m a middle-aged married white woman, mother of 2, grandmother to 2 granddaughters. I grew up on the east coast but have lived in Oklahoma for the past 30 years. Choosing a therapist is a very personal choice and sometimes it takes meeting with multiple therapists to find the right one. Below I’m going to go over some of the things to consider when you are in search of a therapist or a new therapist if you are looking to make a change. I want to introduce myself first so you know my qualifications and what makes me an expert on helping you pick a therapist. I’m a middle-aged married white woman, mother of 2, grandmother to 2 granddaughters. I grew up on the east coast but have lived in Oklahoma for the past 30 years. At vero eos et accusam Sed ut perspiciatis, unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam eaque ipsa, quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt. Ut perspiciatis, unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam eaque ipsa, quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt, explicabo.Sed ut perspiciatis, unde omnis iste natus error sit voluptatem accusantium doloremque laudantium, totam rem aperiam eaque ipsa, quae ab illo inventore veritatis et quasi architecto beatae vitae dicta sunt, explicabo.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Curabitur varius eros et lacus rutrum consequat. Mauris sollicitudin enim condimentum, luctus justo non, molestie nisl.Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Creative approach to every project Aenean et egestas nulla. Pellentesque habitant morbi tristique senectus et netus et malesuada fames ac turpis egestas. Fusce gravida, ligula non molestie tristique, justo elit blandit risus, blandit maximus augue magna accumsan ante. Duis id mi tristique, pulvinar neque at, lobortis tortor. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipisicing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit.Etiam vitae leo et diam pellentesque porta. Sed eleifend ultricies risus, vel rutrum erat commodo ut. Praesent finibus congue euismod. Nullam scelerisque massa vel augue placerat, a tempor sem egestas. Curabitur placerat finibus lacus. You May Also Like Services More than 2 results are available in the PRO version (This notice is only visible to admin users) Recent Posts